Some techniques I learned in my psychology class are:
- Open: when a child comes to you with a question, be open with them. If you are unsure how to respond to your child, be honest and say, "I'm not ready to answer that question yet, let me look into it and talk to you later tonight."
- Eye Contact: Even if you feel uncomfortable (Not keeping eye contact sends the message that "this is not okay to bring up." So they will avoid talking to you about it.)
- Answer what is asked: By the questions you child asks you can measure what your child is ready to hear about. (Be sure to ask context, because they could be referring to something entirely different. Where did they here it?)
- When to teach: Developmentally appropriate for age. A great resource to go by is "A Parents Guide," you can find it on lds.org
- Age 2: Modesty
- Age 3-5: inappropriate touching
- Age 7-11: Children start coming with questions. Give your child a heads up to what they will learn in their Maturation class. (teach them about sex)
- Regularly discuss throughout the teen years.
I thought this bit of information about when children are ready to be taught certain topics was very helpful. Lots of great information.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing it with me.
2 tips. When a kid asks a question that you are not sure what they want to know, follow up with a question. If they ask "Dad, what is Gay?" You might follow up with, "why do you ask?" I didn't do this, and went on answering my 7 year old all about what being Gay is... a long discussion... then they said "Hmmm, because I heard someone calling my teacher in church Gay." Well, Her name is Gaye. Haha. Guess too much information is never bad. as long as they take it well.
ReplyDeleteAlso, second tip- kids are finding out MORE and more each year in public schools. I think that waiting until a maturation class to teach kids about sex is way way too late generally speaking. Kids need a healthy view of sex, and with pornography as rampant as it is on the web- unless you have your child locked up at home without an internet connection ever, I think it's vital to add pornography to that list as early as 7 or 8 years old. Doesn't have to be seriously crazy in-depth, but you should teach them that some people will put pictures and movies of naked people on computers, and you should always shut off a computer and get a parent if that happens on accident to you. We had, again, our 7 year old run into some kids at school once showing pornography at school to the other kids. Not something that happens to all 7 year olds, but with unlimited access to information, more kids are finding out earlier than ever before- and it's important to start those conversations early and often so they know they can talk to you when questions arise.
Thanks for those tips, I always appreciate examples and applications. I agree, with this greater moral threat in the world i think children need to learn early. I would actually consider age 8 to be a perfect age to teach children, because they are more mature and accountable. The biggest thing I would consider is to make sure what you teach is developmentally appropriate to them. I think you made that clear and I am glad you pointed out why it is so important in this day and age. If we don't teach our children, they will find out in other places and it will not be with the same morals and values we would teach them.
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